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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| Subject: funny jokes!  Sat Feb 11, 2012 9:27 am | |
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"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.
"Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.
"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"
"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."
LOL
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Sat Feb 11, 2012 9:31 am | |
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tatay: anak!! anong itong F sa card mo ha!!
anak: (nag-iisip) tatay Fasado po ibig sabihin niyan
tatay: Ahh akala ko Ferfect!!
hahahah!
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Sat Feb 11, 2012 9:34 am | |
| French Lesson
Cough: O vou
Ashes: A vou
Car: Re vou
Baloons: Lo vou
Drugs: Sha vou
Good bye: Va vou
Cute: A cou
Ikaw: Mol tou | |
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Sat Feb 11, 2012 9:40 am | |
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Sa kalagitnaAn ng gera !
pedro: sumuko na kyo! wla rn kau mapa2la.
terorista: su2ko lng kmi kung mai-spel mo ung ceasefire ?
pedro: ituloy ang laban! patay kung patay! Pada2lhan ko kau ng crysanthemum sa inyong lbing!
terorista: spEl crysanthemum?
pedro: sv ko rose, bingi b? Labn kung labn..wlang spelingan . . Hahaha. .
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Sat Feb 11, 2012 9:41 am | |
| Anak umuwi ng bahay.(gaLit) anak: nay, pinptwag kau sa skul!
nay: bakit? my ginwa kn namang katarntaduhan?
anak: ako ba? baka ikaw, ikw nga pinapatawag db?
hahahhaahha! | |
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Sat Feb 11, 2012 9:45 am | |
| "Di lahat ng
bumabakat
sa damit
nakakaakit.."
- bilbil...
hahahahha! | |
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Sat Feb 11, 2012 9:47 am | |
| Manny:nay,ilag liters ang 5000ml nga pepsi?
Di0nesia:5anak. Manny:shur ka nay?
Di0nesia:yisbebe. Liter P, Liter E, Liter P, Liter S,
ug
Liter I=
5liters! LOL
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Sat Feb 11, 2012 9:52 am | |
| My 2 sister n hnahbol ng rapis until umbot cla s isng kanto...
Sr1:sister dun k s kaliwa ako nlng papahabol!
Nkatakas c sr2..after 1 hour.. S simbhan..
Sr2: sister! Bkt wla kang palda!
Sr1: sinadya kong mgphbol sister!
Sr2:ano?! Bkt? Sn n ung rapis? Anu ginwa nyo?
Sr1: xempre tinanggal ko palda ko!
Sr2: ha?! O tapos?
Sr1: xempre binba nya pantalon nya!
Sr2: nku po diyos ko! O tapos sister??
Sr1: xempre tumakbo n ako d2, masmabilis tumakbo ang babaeng wlang palda kesa s lalaking nakbba ang pantalon!
Haha! Kala mu green noh?
~oo nga naman hahahah! | |
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Sat Feb 11, 2012 9:54 am | |
| HEART: mhl q tlga xa..
BRAIN: alm q, x0bra p nga db?
HEART: lm mu pla,bt plit mu p xang knkLmtn?
BRAIN: kc ayaw n ktang mxktan.
STOMACH: s s0bra m0ng pgm2hal,d kna kmkain.
EYES: pti aq npu2yat n..
LIVER: k0rek, pLgi k pNg uMi¡Nom, naAapek2han n kMe n kidNey.
LUNGS: aq dn nh2rPn ng huMinGa.
HEART:pXenxa n guYs ha...e2 tlga functi0n q e, aNg MAGMAHAL.. | |
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Sat Feb 11, 2012 10:12 am | |
| Nagtanong ang teacher kay juan
Teacher:juan anung hayop ang nagsisimula sa letter k
Juan:mam kuto po
Teacher:hindi!! nagtatapos ito sa letter w
Juan:mam alam ko na kutow
Teacher:hindi!! Pang lupa ito
Juan:mam alam ko na po kutow lupa
Teacher:hindi!! May sungay toh
Juan:mam dimonyong kutow | |
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Wed Feb 15, 2012 9:59 am | |
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Presidential candidates
Manny villar - tondo boy
noy noy - mama's boy
Gibo - lover boy
villanueva - Jesus boy
Erap - kanto boy
Jamby - if i wer a boy
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:00 am | |
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Anak: nay galing ng titser ko.
Nay: bakit namn?
Anak: tinuruan kami ng kagandahang asal
Lola: e d marunong ka ng gumalang at mag-PO at OPO?
Anak:Natural! tanga ka Ba? hmmp...
hahaha bastusan LOL
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:01 am | |
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An ambitious NURSE INTERN in a tertiary hospital
dialled canteen
and shouted: " get me a cup of coffee quickly!!!"
The voice from the other line said" "You fool!!!
youve dialled
the wrong extension! Do you know who you are talking to?
im the Chief nurse of this hospital, you idiot!!"
The intern shouted back " and you know who
are talking to you bitch?"
Chief Nurse: No!
Intern: Thank God!(hung up)
hahahahah! adik lang
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:04 am | |
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Bumibili: (pasigaw) pabili pong SAFEGUARD
Tindera: (galit na sumigaw) wag kang sumigaw jan!!!
hindi ako bingi!! anong SIMCARD? globe o smart?
toinks!
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:06 am | |
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Boy: Miss may titulo ka ba?
Girl: wala bakit?
Boy: tingin ko kasi pag-aari kita
Girl: how sweet? ilang pages ka ba?
Boy: (naconfuse) bakit?
Girl: ang mo kapal kasi!!!!
hahaha lampaso!
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:09 am | |
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Ina: Anak matalino ka daw sa math sabi ng titser mo
Anak: Opo
Ina: sige kunwari binigyan kita ng 5 apples and 3 grapes. Ano ang sago mo?
Anak: Thank you po!!!
oo nga naaman hahahha!
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Fri Feb 17, 2012 4:49 pm | |
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Ale: Oh! Bili na kayo ng mga gulay! Sariwa pa!
Babae : Nagtitinda po kayo ng Gulay?
Ale: Nde.... Meron dito T.V,Laptop,Washing Machine,iPhone,iPad,Basta marami!!!!!
Babae : Sabi nyo nagtitinda kayo ng gulay?
Ale: Oh! Alam mo naman pala eh! Nagtatanong ka pa!
Hahahahahah!
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Fri Feb 17, 2012 4:56 pm | |
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Si Ruben he was found guilty!!!
Judge: ano gusto mong parusa? Silya Elektrika o papasukan ng saging sa puwet.
Ruben: siyempre papasukan ng saging sa puwet, ayoko pa namang mamatay eh!
Araw na upang parusahan si Ruben.
Guard: Oi Ruben sumama ka sakin sa Execution Room paparusahan ka na!!!
Ruben: Oo eto na ko.
Sobrang confident ni Ruben na alam niyang walang mangyayari sa kanya.
Nasa Execution Room na si Ruben.
Ruben: Oi ano ba?! naiinip na ko pwede bang tapusin na natin to? Asan yung saging!!?
Guard:Sige, Papasukin nyo na sina !!!"B1" at si "B2"!!!
Ruben:WAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!
hahhahaa]
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Fri Feb 17, 2012 5:01 pm | |
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The AL GORE virus: causes your computer to just keep counting.
The CLINTON virus: gives you a 7-inch hard drive with NO memory.
The BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus: makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The LEWINSKY virus: sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e- mails everyone about what it did.
The RONALD REAGAN virus: saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
The JESSE JACKSON virus: warns you constantly about illegitimate file reproduction, while illegitimately reproducing files in the background.
The MIKE TYSON virus: quits after two bytes.
The OPRAH WINFREY virus: your 300 MB hard drive shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to restabilize around 200 MB.
The JACK KEVORKIAN virus: deletes all old files.
The PROZAC virus: totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn’t care.
The JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus: only attacks minor files.
The ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus: terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
and last but not least ...
The LORENA BOBBITT virus: reformats your hard drive into a 3.5-inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Fri Feb 17, 2012 5:02 pm | |
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may mag-amang nagsisimba......
pari: sa langit walang pera!
sa langit walang pera!
anak: tay nasa langit na pala tayo!
(kasi wala silang pera)
hehehe...
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mhane
Posts : 85
Join date : 2011-09-19
Age : 34
| | Subject: Re: funny jokes! Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:13 am | |
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1.Di mo kaya sabinin ang mata mo
2.di mo kayang bilangin ang buhok mo
3 di mo kayang huminga ng mabilis ng naka labas ang dila mo
4. Hula ko ginawa mo ang #3
5. hula ko ngumingiti ka ngaun kase nauto kita
GOOD DOGGY!
hahhahaha
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